TWENTY years ago, my friend Andrew took his own life.
He was the most happy and confident guy I knew, the life of the newsroom, someone you’d never guess was in pain.
I was one of the last people to see him alive – shooting pool at the pub – before he went home and ended his life in his garage.
Only later did I learn he had been crushed by debts he believed he couldn’t repay.
To this day, I ask myself whether I should have seen the signs.
Should I have looked harder behind the confident exterior?
It was such a waste of a young life.
That is why R U OK? Day matters so much.
Every year, on the second Thursday of September, Australians are urged to ask a simple but powerful question: “Are you OK?”
It is a campaign born of tragedy, yet its power lies in its simplicity.
Four steps – ask, listen, encourage action, and check in again – are small but potentially lifesaving.
And yet, one day a year is not enough.
Mental illness doesn’t wait for an awareness campaign, and neither should we.
Songwriter, psychologist and ambassador Aislinn Sharp is right when she says every day should be R U OK? Day.
She knows, as I do, that people can hide their pain well.
The cheerful friend, the colleague who seems to have it all together, the family member who never complains – any one of them could be struggling.
That is why daily check-ins matter.
Noticing subtle changes, paying attention to silences, and asking questions that go beyond polite small talk can help pierce the mask.
Of course, critics are right to say that awareness alone isn’t enough.
Australia’s mental health system is under enormous strain, with long waiting lists and unaffordable care. That makes it even more urgent for us to step up as friends, families and communities.
We can’t fix the system overnight, but we can choose to be present, to listen, and to remind people they’re not alone.
Sometimes that single act of connection is enough to keep someone here.
I’ll never know if asking my friend directly would have made a difference.
But I do know this: if we want to prevent more wasted lives, we can’t wait for a date on the calendar.
Need help? Speak with someone today: Phone 13 11 14.
