I CALL it the hierarchy of communication.
I mean, the old spoken word is kind of passe these days.
Why speak to one another, when you can text, email, Skype or FaceTime?
Is it just me or do other people rate this communication?
There are many factors in this informal, subconscious ranking system, mostly involving the communication method weighed against the people who are doing the communicating.
Certain people require certain communication.
Would I email my husband for example? Rarely, although I have been known to send him a request (often for a photo) via email from one room of the house to another, simply because I am too lazy to get off a chair. I personally find this funny, but I am not sure that he does.
No, people close to you are reserved for face-to-face or a phone call at best.
Emails are the purview of the corporate world. And how much time have they saved us, often taking away the need for an appointment or a phone call, when a quick answer is required. I remember those days when the first job of the day was to wade through faxes and then send them to the typesetter to input.
The email world is a cut-and-paste world and thank God for it.
For me, the hierarchy comes into play at birthdays. If was to get a “Happy Birthday” via text, email or Facebook from my children, I wouldn’t be too thrilled.
But how good is it that those Facebook friends, who (let’s face it) are really just acquaintances, take the time to send a message. I mean I know they are reminded and the message is often just the basics, but at least the message gives you momentary contact and a warm, fuzzy feeling that they bothered at all.
I’ve already written about that laborious letter-writing night of my childhood. And then there were the timed trunk calls (“Three minutes, Are you extending?”). My mother would write down what she wanted to say, whip the phone around the children and speak at double-time to get all the conversation in.
And while “snail mail” seems to be a thing of the past, the effort of buying a card and posting it ranks highly to me.
Whichever the method, communication is a psychological minefield and nothing to write home about.
