WHEN comedian Dave Hughes broke five ribs and punctured a lung during an AFL Legends charity match earlier this year, his first thought was not about recovery.
It was: “There’s a show in this.”
The result is Cooked, Hughesy’s latest stand-up show, which arrives at Redland Performing Arts Centre on August 1 as part of a 36-stop national tour.
The 54-year-old comedian said he was probably the least qualified footballer on the field when he lined up against former AFL stars.
“I was the oldest on the field and a long way from being any sort of football player,” Hughes said.
“I was the most likely to die. There is irony everywhere.”
The collision left him with five broken ribs and a punctured lung.
“We were playing against some AFL legends; I went low to get the ball and got hit hard. I ended up in intensive care.”
Remarkably, Hughes finished the game, kicked a goal and even attended the post-match celebrations before seeking treatment.
“I don’t know if I am a trouper or just stupid. I think a bit of both,” he said.
Recovery proved painful.
“It hurt to laugh. It hurt to breathe. And sneezing? I didn’t sneeze for three months,” he said.
“It was like pulling the pin out of a grenade … and I love sneezing.
“My father-in-law sneezes so loudly, it is like a nuclear bomb explosion.”
Just as the bruising began to fade, Hughes found himself back in hospital with fluid on his lungs.
“I was close to death and getting some of the biggest laughs of my life. I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he said.
“I lay there in agony and thought, this could be the basis of a show off the back of this story. It is like a phoenix show.”
Unlike his usual performances, which often rely on spontaneous observations and off-the-cuff humour, Cooked is built around a single real-life experience.
“I usually just go off the top of my head. I do draw on real life experiences, but this is something else,” he said.
Despite the title, Hughes insists audiences should not expect a cooking demonstration.
“For that, I just need an air fryer and a bag of potatoes,” he said.
“I do, however, have 96 per cent Irish heritage.
“Potatoes are much aligned as a food that is really good for you, that you could live on.
“You don’t peel them. I think the vitamins are in the skin.”
Instead, audiences can expect stories about football mishaps, near-death experiences, family life and the everyday disasters that have become Hughesy’s trademark material.
“I mean who would hurt a national treasure? It’s extremely rude,” he joked. “But when something stupid or life- threatening happens, they laugh.
“I think laughing at someone’s misfortunes proves their love.”
Cooked will be performed at RPAC at 7pm on August 1.
By Linda Muller & Andrew Jefferson
